Train of Thought and Running Tracks

Well, many of my favorite people are off to Colorado and the mountains, which makes me think a lot about Colorado and the mountains right now.

That in turn makes me think of my upcoming trip in October when I'll be visiting some of my other favorite people, who are taking me climbing the summit of Pike's Peak.

Climbing Pike's Peak makes me think about training, and training makes me think about the nice, air-conditioned running track at my alma mater.

So, obviously, the thing to do must be stop at home, change into something less dressy, and take off for Pville.

I recently told someone that I don't go to our college to socialize, that I go there to remember how I almost died and to reflect on what is most important. Anger being the motivating reason behind saying anything to the woman, I immediately started asking myself "is that true, Pepper? Is that really the reason you go to campus? No socialization? That sounds depressing. Reflecting on death? That sounds depressing too. Are you sure about this?"

After thinking it through carefully, I've decided that, yes, it is true and, no, it's not depressing at all.

When I go to campus, I stick to the BHC. I greet the security guard and head upstairs. While I might greet people who come my way, especially if I already know them, I don't go out of my way to see anyone, or at least not usually. I run for the pleasure of running and for the dream of climbing without too much exhaustion, and I rejoice because each time I come, I run better and further than I had the time previous. I take delight in the strength of my my previously tortured limbs and in the stability of my formerly crooked back.

As a thirty year old, I feel younger than I can ever remember feeling before.

On some rare occasions, I might decide that someone needs a reminder that I live, am healthy, and don't have any plans to move any time soon. This is, as I said, rare, as I prefer to avoid angry, stressed out people, although I don't think it indicates anything wrong about her or me. When a person is stressed by the existence of someone else, that says a lot about the stress management skills involved and about the relationship, but not so much about either of the two people specifically. I intend to prove that I can adapt to the situation just fine, and that's my only goal in the situation.

So, no socializing, but my body works and that's a blessing I can't take for granted. Sometimes I see a camp in the gym below me, kids all laughing and exercising and having fun with each other, and that's a good thing to watch. In all weathers and despite the range of traffic, there's a beauty in the air, the kind that can only come from reclaimed joy and conquered fear, and I rejoice in my ability to access all my memories.

There's nothing depressing about reflecting on what is most important in life.