Unclean and Holy

When you come into the land and plant any kind of tree for food, then you shall regard its fruit as forbidden. Three years it shall be forbidden to you; it must not be eaten. And in the fourth year all its fruit shall be holy, an offering of praise to the Lord. But in the fifth year you may eat of its fruit, to increase its yield for you: I am the Lord your God.

Leviticus 19:23-25

This verse has been coming back to me continually for the last few weeks, ever since I had a friend walk with me through the memories of my near-death experience. As I remember it, the version I read whenever I learned these verses used the word "unclean" instead of "forbidden." It must have been the King James 2000 version, because, according to Bible Hub, the regular old King James uses the word "uncircumcised." I'm guessing that was one of the known mistakes of the well-studied, well-compared, well-worn old translation.

In any case, I prefer the word "unclean." It makes more sense for the thought that prompts me to look at the verse again.

Three years of uncleanness, one year of holiness, and then the orchard can be fruitful.

Right now, of course, I'm seeing myself as the orchard.

I'm not entirely sure when I should count the three years, but it's been roughly that long. March '13 is when I decided to take a stand, but, at that time, I wasn't breaking with anyone to do it. Or, at least, I didn't know that I was. By June, I knew I was breaking with my parents. In August, I recovered the memory that had made it so important not to back down.

Well, I don't guess that the month matters much. The important thing is to define "uncleanness" and "holiness" in this context.

It's no secret that these last three years have been miserable. If anything good came out of it for someone besides me, I haven't heard about it. I've been loud and angry and hurt. Yes, I had good reason for both the anger and the pain, and I've as much right to self-expression as anyone. I felt like I'd been trod down and that I needed to remind people that this doormat has teeth. Was it worth three years of barring my fangs? Eh... I'm thirty. This started when I was twenty-seven. So... maybe it was.


If it wasn't, I'm sure I'll hear about it sooner or later. These things do have a way of coming back around.

But, for now, I'm hoping for a year to replenish. I've been emptied of all the anger and pain, but I've also been emptied of the faith and the love that I used to have. I have a good foundation for the building I'll be doing, but it is a bare foundation right now.

I'm not yet closing Narnian's Passport, because there may yet be things I need to say to the audience who knows about that blog. The Apple Orchard is here for me to build the parts of my soul that I can't touch under the weight of their watching eyes. They might find it even so, or be told about it, but as long as I don't know they're watching me, it won't matter.

So, The Apple Orchard is about happy things. Things like favorite books, my beloved garden, the decorating projects I have going on in the new house, the progress I'm making on my exercise routine, maybe some fashion stuff, and (most importantly) those sections of Scripture that most stand out to me. I hope to post at least once a day. I already know the topic for tomorrow's post.

Hope to see you then!